Day 1121

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The three year headache anniversary passed unnoticed – or should I say ignored. One year, two years, three years.. it nearly seems to make no difference anymore. It’s been dragging on for so long that my hope that it will cease is waning.

I wish those who didn’t suffer from this wretched thing could understand how awful it is. Having a constant headache is so tiring, it makes the world so much heavier, every moment drags on for so much more, even when it's a fun moment, it's always somehow ruined because nothing is ever perfect, there's always that horrible headache reminding me that something is wrong.

One of my greatest passions is reading and yesterday, as I was reading a book, I had to stop for a while as the headache – for whatever inexplicable reason – was quite strong at that moment and it made it hard for me to concentrate. So the headache is always there, reminding me of its presence (don’t worry, I won’t forget you, dear) at every moment. Even when I have a few moments to myself, to sit back and relax, the headache topic inevitably comes up. I question it but soon get tired as I have no answers, and try to brush it aside.

I have learned to try and not ponder too much on its presence, to try and get on with daily life as much as possible and not let it interfere with my life, but the truth is that at times when I go to bed, I sometimes wonder ‘What if I just don’t wake up tomorrow?’ The truth of the matter is that, as much as I can ignore it, I realise that it is not normal to have had a headache for three years and sometimes I worry that the wretched thing may play its final joke on me.

Day 1214

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Just yesterday I spoke to someone over the phone and asked him how he was. “Just a bit of a headache today”, was his answer. Needless to say, all kinds of thoughts flashed through my head. I could not bring myself to say “Oh, sorry to hear”, as one would normally do. I just brushed it aside muttering some sort of a “I understand” under my breath. I find it impossible to empathise with people who have ‘a bit of a headache’ – if only they knew.

I must admit I have become more and more secretive about the Headache. When It started I told virtually everyone about It, hoping that someone along the way would have an acquaintance with a similar story and know about a miraculous cure; but as time has gone by, I have not dared tell any new friends. The only people who currently know about It are those whom I had originally told.

In my mind there is a stark division: the before and after It started - those who knew me already, and those whom have only known me with a headache (much to their ignorance). I sometimes wonder if they would think of me any differently if they had met me before.

As a reader of this blog rightly suggested, having our headaches has undoubtedly led us all to explore different paths in life. In a way, there are many new and different areas that I have looked into to find a cure. I have learned and assimilated so much new information that I would certainly not have acquired otherwise; but I can’t help thinking how much better my daily life would be without this witch of a Headache, without having to open my eyes every single morning and have the side of my head pressing in – a wonderful reminder that it is always there.

Day 1285 - It's All In Your Head

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"Many people know about other contributing factors such as heredity, food triggers, lack of sleep, poor posture, etc., but are not aware of any psychological connection.
Headache specialists report that many of their patients resist any discussion of emotional or psychological contributors to their recurrent headaches. Some people fear that pursuing this avenue could uncover evidence of "mental illness." Others feel that the existence of these factors would make their pain less real because it would then be "all in their heads". In just about all cases, neither of these 2 things is true!
Headache is definitely a biological disorder. However, since the body and the mind are interconnected, your emotional and psychological states can have an effect on your overall health, including your headaches. Here's why:
- When your emotional and psychological systems are in good working order, they help to create a positive environment that contributes to the health of your body.
- When these systems aren't working so well...for example, if you feel anxious, depressed or angry on a frequent basis — and especially if you find it difficult to shake these feelings — a negative environment can be created in your body that may contribute to a specific headache episode or create a fertile breeding ground for headaches to occur.
The relationship between anxiety, depression and headache is not fully understood. However, it is known that the brain chemical serotonin plays a role in all of them. Some headache specialists have theorized that these disorders may share a common mechanism in the brain.
Research has shown that some chronic headache sufferers also suffer from depression and/or anxiety. It is important to note that these sufferers' psychological conditions may not be caused by their headaches. Rather, tendencies towards depression or anxiety may be inherent in their personalities or ways of thinking. Or, they may be the result of an intense and prolonged level of stress which may lead to psychological conditions such as anxiety or depression. Regardless of the cause, having frequent headaches and feeling a lack of control over them may cause an existing condition of depression or anxiety to worsen. This situation can easily snowball, creating a vicious cycle of headache and emotional distress.
Unfortunately, emotional and psychological factors are often not considered in the treatment of headache. Doctors (especially those who are not headache specialists) tend to emphasize medical treatment — and rightly so. This is the traditional "first line of defense" and is effective for most headache patients. So is appropriate to start — and, for most, to stop — there. Also, some doctors today are cautious not to focus on psychological factors during the earlier stages of headache treatment — possibly overcompensating for the days when many doctors treated patients as if the pain was "all in their heads."

Doctors who do bring up psychological contributors as a possibility often find that their patients want to avoid psychological treatment, fearing a "mentally ill" diagnosis or having a concern that the presence of these factors would mean that their headaches are not a serious medical problem. This is very unfortunate because nothing could be farther from the truth!"*

*http://www.excedrin.com/psychological-contributors-to-headaches.shtml

It has taken me over three years to write this post.

When the headache started - which now seems all those years ago - I went to see a psychologist about it. The headache had exacerbated to such a degree that I was unable to work and felt completely depressed about my situation. After telling her about the distress that the headache had caused, she looked at me, arms gently folded over her lap, and stated “It must be such a headache having this pain!” and gave a little chuckle. I brushed aside this silly joke, ignoring it and thinking that maybe she had unintentionally let it out. However, when the very same joke repeated itself over the course of the next sessions, I felt hurt, frustrated and angry that a person contending to be there to help could actually end up aggravating a situation. I could bear it no longer and after a few sessions I left. That was the last of any psychological treatment I have undergone.

The possibility of the headache being related to a close friend’s death which took place a few months before the onset of my headache, has crossed my mind more than once. But nearly four years down the line I do not think the headache is related to this, or at least entirely to this. It is possible that I have not yet recovered from the shock of losing such a close friend. I truly believe there is a strong link between body and mind and that a traumatic event can undoubtedly have consequences on one’s body. The passage above taken from a Headache Centre webpage discusses this in further detail. Just today I also came across an article on the BBC website on a similar topic.

The reason it has taken me so long to write anything on this is that I am unable to draw the line between the “it could be a psychologically caused headache ” to a “it’s all in your head” (i.e. fictional). I am certain, from the manner in which this question is usually addressed to me, that by ‘psychological’ the word ‘fictional’ is intended. Does anyone feel the same?

Causes of Astigmatism

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Astigmatism is an eye problem or condition in which a person has blurred vision because of an eye problem. In this situation, the front exterior of the eye does not have the accurate curve in the cornea of the eye. The curve is irregular with one-half of the cornea being flatter or steeper than the other half. The distorted image results because the rays of light entering the eye do not focus correctly on the retina.
Astigmatism occurs in both children and adults. In addition, it happens frequently, but it is not contagious. It usually is present at birth but can result following eye surgery or after an eye injury. These eye problems are part of classifications of eye conditions known as refractive errors: hypermetropia or far-sightedness, myopia or shortsightedness and presbyopia or aging of the eye's lens.
Astigmatism takes two common forms. Corneal astigmatism occurs when the cornea is unevenly shaped and lenticular astigmatism when the lens is irregularly shaped.
In corneal astigmatism, the cornea is irregularly shaped. The cornea, which is a clear coating of tissue that covers the front of the eye, transmits and focuses light in the eye as well as protecting the eye from becoming infected and from damage. The cornea has to be perfectly curved to refract or bend light correctly as it enters the eye.
When the cornea does not have a perfect curve, the light is not refracted correctly and results in the retina receiving a distorted image. Consequently, the result will be imprecise vision or astigmatism in that eye.
People who have astigmatism often have a cornea, which is oval instead of a perfect circle. When the cornea’s arc is oblong, the light rays concentrate on two points within the retina.
Specialists are uncertain as to why some people have a cornea that is not curved correctly at birth. Some reports reveal that babies have a greater chance of astigmatism if the parents also have the condition. A higher proportion of babies who are born prematurely or with a lower body weight have astigmatism as compared with other babies.
Lenticular astigmatism is similar to corneal astigmatism but occurs in the lens instead of the cornea. The lens’ curvature varies instead of being perfect. The images at the back of the eye at the retina are distorted. Many of the patients who have lenticular astigmatism have a cornea with a normal shape. The imperfection is in the curve of the lens.
People who are diabetic develop lenticular astigmatism when higher levels of blood sugar produce a change in the shape of the lens. The change occurs slowly. It is identified at the time the patient begins the diabetic treatment. As the treatment controls the diabetes near normal levels, the shape of the lens returns to the regular level but may result in hypermetropia or far sightedness. It is often advised that those receiving diabetic treatments should wait for the lens to return to normal before receiving testing for new glasses.
Astigmatism also arises when the shape of the cornea is more oblong than it is round. The oval shape results in the rays of light focusing on two points in the back of the eye.
Sometimes astigmatism is caused by pressure of the eyelids on the cornea. It also can result from incorrect posture or use the eyes for detailed work. Some people inherit the problem.
Infrequently, astigmatism is caused by chalazia when the eye's lids swell or because of scars on the cornea. The scars may be caused by eye injury and the direction of light of the eye changes. It also may be owing to keratoconus, which is an uncommon condition in which a cornea changes from its normal round shape. Sometimes after eye surgery, a patient will develop astigmatism when the sutures are placed firmly produce the cornea to wrinkle, resulting in astigmatism until the injury is healed.

Eye Floaters Treatment

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If you have eye floaters, you know how irritating they can be. Fortunately, eye floaters are usually a harmless sign of aging. They can, however, be a sign of more serious eye problems, so it is always good to have your eyes examined to know for certain. The good news is that there are several options when it comes to eye floaters treatment, so you can consult with your ophthalmologist to decide which one is best for you.

Eye floaters are tiny specks or thin stands that you sometimes see roaming around your vision. They are caused by very tiny fragments in the vitreous of the eye becoming detached from within the eye's interior. Floaters are usually more noticeable if you are staring at a mono-colored clear surface such as the sky or a piece of blank paper. They can occur at any time.

Eye floaters are a normal occurrence as you age; however, there are times when they signal a serious eye problem. The biggest eye problems associated with floaters are torn or detached retinas. If you suddenly see a lot of floaters accompanied by flashes of light that resemble lightning strikes, one of your retinas may be torn or detached from the rest of the eye. Seek medical help immediately if this happens, as a torn or detached retina could cause permanent loss of eyesight.

One method of eye floaters treatment is through laser therapy. In this procedure, an ophthalmologist directs a special laser on the floaters. The laser breaks the floaters into smaller ones which can make them less noticeable and irritating. Results are mixed for this procedure, with some people reporting improvement and others noticing little, if any, difference. Laser treatment for floaters is still considered to be experimental and is not currently widely used.

Another treatment for eye floaters is by surgery. Because most floaters fade over time, doctors usually only advise surgical treatment if there is a significant visual impairment. Vitreoretinal eye surgery is the medical term for this procedure. After general or local anesthesia is administered, the eye surgeon makes several miniscule slits in the eye to insert surgical instruments. The vitreous in the eye is removed and replaced with liquid saline, and over time the body makes more fluid on its own to maintain the shape of the eye.

There are also all-natural, holistic treatments available for eye floaters. These include herbs, such as billberry, that improve blood vessel circulation and assist with the delivery of oxygen and nutrients. Vitamin C improves capillary strength, which helps transport the necessary amount of blood to the retina. Aspalathus linearis and sutherlandia frutescens have anti-oxidant and restorative effects and are considered good natural treatments.

Eye floaters are usually more of an annoyance than a danger. In time they fade and the eye adapts to them, making them less aggravating. Surgical treatment is very effective but should only be done in cases of severe visual impairment. If you are concerned about your floaters, consult an ophthalmologist.